As I type this I am out my nut on painkillers so apologies for oversharing and maybe ruining a love of Super Noodles!
I am off work at the mo due to a bladder fistula and it sucks. However looking back over the past 3 weeks, I have found myself in some situations that I am now embracing and finding quite amusing.
Here are little diary inputs from January…
Day One: While celebrating Russell’s birthday in Edinburgh my fistula symptoms reappeared with a vengeance. What was meant to be a lovely night away consisted of me crying my eyes out all night on the toilet, while peeing out poo. Ouch!
Day Three: A visit to the GP resulted in a surprise smear test for me. They are never fun but surprise ones are much worse – you don’t have time to groom, put on nice pants and have a decent pep talk with yourself *Cries reliving the moment* The surprise smear took place with my boyfriend in the room. YES CRINGE! Thank goodness for curtains and naïve other half.
Day Four: Side effects of my antibiotics and painkillers kicked in. Hello diarrhoea! Food started to pass through me at lightening speed. While eating Super Noodles, I needed a toilet break. Only for me to come out screaming that I have worms… nope, only noodles.
Day Ten: ASOS are getting the blame for this one as they emailed me a voucher. I needed a pair of dungarees, also a beret, a new dress (make that 3), jacket and skirt. However when the order arrived, I popped the dungarees on, looked super cool and I was feeling great (I am running out of clean jammies) That was until I needed the toilet. Dungarees are fiddly and my bladder has no patience at the moment… you can imagine the rest!
Day Twelve: Ventured to Aldi for some ready made mash potato in my jammies. Of course I bumped into my mum and auntie… I hadn’t even brushed my hair that day. Shameful.
Day Sixteen: I jammed my finger in the door when going to collect another ASOS delivery. I started crying and couldn’t stop. The tears would not stop pouring out my eyes. Russell then told me I was his best friend and happy tears over took sad tears but still tears none the less. Probably why I was dehydrated at the docs the following day…
Day Seventeen PM: For a change of scenery, bed and toilet we went to St Andrews for the night. As a treat we decided to go for a posh steak meal. I have no appetite unless it is for mash tatties or scampi (weird combo, I know!) Russell came out stuffed after 2 steak dinners while I tucked into bowl of posh creamy mash in the fanciest place I have ever dined. Classy.
Now what is in store for February? Well I am getting a camera up my pee hole, I have been signed off work for another 2 weeks and I am hoping for a solid bowel movement.
Wish me luck! x