January’s Fistula Diary

As I type this I am out my nut on painkillers so apologies for oversharing and maybe ruining a love of Super Noodles!

I am off work at the mo due to a bladder fistula and it sucks. However looking back over the past 3 weeks, I have found myself in some situations that I am now embracing and finding quite amusing.

Here are little diary inputs from January…


Toilet roll
*** Love a loo roll delivery ***


Day One: While celebrating Russell’s birthday in Edinburgh my fistula symptoms reappeared with a vengeance. What was meant to be a lovely night away consisted of me crying my eyes out all night on the toilet, while peeing out poo. Ouch!

Day Three: A visit to the GP resulted in a surprise smear test for me. They are never fun but surprise ones are much worse – you don’t have time to groom, put on nice pants and have a decent pep talk with yourself *Cries reliving the moment* The surprise smear took place with my boyfriend in the room. YES CRINGE! Thank goodness for curtains and naïve other half.

Day Four: Side effects of my antibiotics and painkillers kicked in. Hello diarrhoea! Food started to pass through me at lightening speed. While eating Super Noodles, I needed a toilet break. Only for me to come out screaming that I have worms… nope, only noodles.

*** Just a wee bit spaced out ***

Day Ten: ASOS are getting the blame for this one as they emailed me a voucher. I needed a pair of dungarees, also a beret, a new dress (make that 3), jacket and skirt. However when the order arrived, I popped the dungarees on, looked super cool and I was feeling great (I am running out of clean jammies) That was until I needed the toilet. Dungarees are fiddly and my bladder has no patience at the moment… you can imagine the rest!

Day Twelve: Ventured to Aldi for some ready made mash potato in my jammies. Of course I bumped into my mum and auntie… I hadn’t even brushed my hair that day. Shameful.


cry 1
*** I want to cry about the double chin here ***


Day Sixteen: I jammed my finger in the door when going to collect another ASOS delivery. I started crying and couldn’t stop. The tears would not stop pouring out my eyes. Russell then told me I was his best friend and happy tears over took sad tears but still tears none the less. Probably why I was dehydrated at the docs the following day…

Day Seventeen PM: For a change of scenery, bed and toilet we went to St Andrews for the night. As a treat we decided to go for a posh steak meal. I have no appetite unless it is for mash tatties or scampi (weird combo, I know!) Russell came out stuffed after 2 steak dinners while I tucked into bowl of posh creamy mash in the fanciest place I have ever dined. Classy.


Sleep 2
*** Feeling oh so sorry for myself ***


Now what is in store for February? Well I am getting a camera up my pee hole, I have been signed off work for another 2 weeks and I am hoping for a solid bowel movement.

Wish me luck! x







2018 – The year I realise the world doesn’t revolve around me!

*GASP* I know it is shocking really that it has taking me to 24 years old to realise that actually the world isn’t revolving around me. Is it because I am an only child? Who knows…  I am just used to getting my own way most of the time. I am not the best at compromising and I can be ever so slightly selfish as it is usually my way or the highway but now, oh how the tables have turned for the next few months or so (then I can return to my normal needy self – sorry Russ)!

If you follow me on Instagram or Twitter (sorry, little plug there) you will know my more emotionally stronger other half found himself in an accident which was pretty serious. Ambulances, surgery, stitches etc…. Real life episode of Casualty.

This is when for the first time EVER my adulting (is that a word?) instincts kicked in and I wasn’t top of my list. Russell was… oh I am soppy.

Funnily enough, more than one person has questioned how I will cope… and so far so good, I think. What I lack in normal household jobs I make up for with hospital knowledge and teaching Russell the Spoonie way of life BUT I haven’t gave Russell food poisoning, the washing is still getting done and I am reading more than ever due to the Rugby matches that are taking over the telly – it is only fair as I usually subject Russell to hours of RuPaul when I’m not feeling too good.

Russell has been so brave, it puts me to shame. He has held himself together like an absolute trooper, both emotionally and physically. I have been crying tears for him, sparked by a lasagne not warming up fast enough. Drama queen eh!

Anyway, this is just a little post to get me back into the swing of things as I have been majorly neglecting my blogging life which I am starting to miss. I just am using my energy, or lack off, to keep Russell smiling – and luckily for him, it is birthday this week. Five Guys here we come (I know how to treat him ha!)

Russell, We will be high fiving before you know it. Love you lots x


Russ Hand 1


Zombie Pub Crawl // Halloween 2017

Over the weekend I took part in a zombie pub crawl through Edinburgh’s Old Town. Covered in fake blood both Russell and I looked like reject zombies, compared to our friends Robyn and Graeme who looked like they had walked straight out of a thriller movie. EEEEK!

We ventured to 7 pubs, had 5 free shots and a few too many vodkas to get us through the night. It was definitely an adult version of trick or treating!

Highlights of the night include the live band at Dropkick Murphy’s, the chocolate shot at Vodka Rev and me forgetting I had fake blood on and nearly having a fit shouting ‘Help, help, I’m bleeding!!!’

…and not forgetting the munch while in the taxi queue. Every night has to end with food of course.

The night was organised perfectly by Edinburgh Pub Crawl and tickets were £10 which covered VIP entry, shots and discounted drinks.

You can see how much fun we had in the photos below, but by the last one all I wanted was chips and cheese!

zombie 9

Zombie 3

zombie 6


zombie 8

Zombie 2




Meats & Beats Festival

If you love food, music and of course a wee drink or two – this is the festival for you!

Located at the Assembly Roxy, food and drink vendors set up camp for the weekend. On offer were a range of different street foods such as steak, lobster, dirty fries and cakes. A food lovers heaven.

Surprise, surprise, Russell and I were the first 2 through the door of the Sunday afternoon session.

We focused mainly on the alcohol. Russell was manly with his pints of lager from Stewart’s Brewery and Fyne Ales while I drowned in prosecco cocktails and champagne (thanks to JoJo!) One of the cocktails I drank for the Pop Up Cocktail Kitchen had a ham crisp floating in which was weirdly nice!


To line our stomachs we munched on black pudding and smoked potato pakora from Bruadair, which was amazing. For £5 it was a generous portion and had the perfect amount of heat for someone who usually avoids anything with a bit of spice. I have actually been craving these since.

Throughout the sessions (4 in total) games such as Blind Date and Catch Phrase were running. Russell and I took part in a pub quiz ran by Goose’s Quizes – we came last. To be fair the questions were tricky. I shall be scrubbing up on my general knowledge before taking part next time. Why couldn’t there have been a Mcfly round? Russell was also entered into a chicken wing contest. Sadly he never won and missed the opportunity of a free pint!


Classic movies where also being shown and music was played in the main hall which changed decade every hour. When buying your ticket you could request a song or tweet the DJ on the day. I asked for ‘Call Me Al’ by Paul Simons as that usually guarantees a boogie.


Tickets started at £5 with food and drinks not included. Fancy dress was encouraged and so was dancing to warm you up.

It was a great day for foodies and I have everything crossed it runs again next year!



Should you be doing that?

I get asked variations of that question a lot. Can you do that? Are you allowed to do that? What would your doctor say? Will that not make you worse? Is that the best idea? …

… and my least favourite statement EVER “You are burning the candle from both ends” –  I don’t know why but it makes my skin crawl and I will throw a major eye roll in your direction.

As a 24 year old, my favourite things are socialising with coffee, cocktails, gin, food, dancing. Everything in that list I probably shouldn’t do but I do. Quite often in fact (which you will see from my previous posts.)

For someone with a few chronic illnesses I am very much about living in the moment. If I feel up to it I will do it. Some days I don’t, which is fine by me. I spend those days in my jammies, on the loo, crying. As I haven’t been blogging about those dark days recently it doesn’t mean I haven’t been having them.

Russell sees me at my worst nearly every day. From 7:30am onwards I have an endless battle on how I am going to tackle the day. I can either give into my symptoms or give myself a pep talk and leave the flat. Again, you don’t see that. You don’t see me weighing up every thing that could go wrong, will food be served, what would I eat, are toilets on route, are they going to be clean, is my stomach going to start making uncontrollable noises, will I last the whole day, would what this person think if I started crying, can I lie down anywhere…. the list goes on!

^ that is just about my commute to work.

So, when I go out out (like proper out) I like to make the most of it. I will drink an extra cocktail, indulge on extra cheesy macaroni and of course have extra vanilla in my latte because it has taken a lot of energy to get here. I deserve it!

So the point of this post is really to say NO I shouldn’t be doing that – but I’m not going to let me Crohn’s stop me… unless it is completely necessary. Now, where is my Friday cocktail?







Gin Festival Edinburgh 2017

At the weekend Russell and I ventured to the Corn Exchange to take part in the afternoon session of the Gin Festival, here in Edinburgh for the third year!

On offer were local gins, Scottish gins and ones from further afield all set up and patiently waiting for the 3600 gin lovers to crash into the building.


Walking through the door, I was greeted by the lovely Laura who was helping organise the event. We were given a wristband each which you could load with money to buy your drinks. Each drink was £5 and your band was scanned by the friendly bar staff. This worked wonders and kept queues, if any, to a minimum. We also got two goblet glasses given to us to use for the day, which we got to keep – great for recreating my perfect gin cocktails at home!

Most importantly was the ‘Gin Book’ that was in our glass, this would decide how our day was going to pan out.

Flicking through the pages, the gins were split into sections and allocated certain bars from A-D. Bar D took our fancy as it contained more liquior types.


I spied the newly talked about Zymurgorium Sweet Violet Gin so obviously I had to try this. What a treat it was. It smelt and tasted like Parma Violet sweets.

Next I moved onto Braeckman Vanilla Jenever – this tasted like American cream soda but an adults version. I had added lemonade so it give it a little sweetness, even though it looked a bit curdled I still really enjoyed it.

I couldn’t go to a gin festival and not have my favourite Rhubarb and Ginger from Edinburgh Gin. I had this on the rocks and it went down very smoothly. First time for Russell trying this one and he liked it.


Russell’s top pick was Zymurgorium Manchester Marmalade at 40% this was the strongest gin of the day for us. Thankfully Fever-Tree were on hand with unlimited tonic, Indian tonic and lemonade. Great for me as most of you know I am a lightweight.

The atmosphere was great and the live singers that took to the stage managed to get crowds up to dance. There was a real party vibe in the main hall. However, Russell and I spent most of our time in the sample hall – can you blame us though? Everyone loves a freebie.

There were plenty of samples on offer – Tinker, Edinburgh Gin and Persie to name a few. The Tinker sample I tried was mixed with tonic, black pepper and chilli – it was certainly nippy.



Throughout the day Masterclasses ran which proved to be popular. So popular we struggled to get in.

Now the toughest decision of the day for me was which bottle to buy to have pride of place our drinks globe. After umpteen samples I think (for this month) I will be going with Boe Violet Gin – not only did it taste beautiful the bottle is very pretty. You can buy any gins from the festival on there website and get them delivered straight to your door. Perfect in the run up to Christmas (hint hint Mum/Dad/Russell)

If this wasn’t already the perfect way to spend my Saturday, I was able to stuff my face with Mexican food and Russell could stuff his with pulled pork goodness. We left feeling like slightly drunk piggys!

gin8Thanks for inviting me Gin Festival. I can’t wait for you to return next year!

*** I was given two wristbands in return of an honest review. All views are my own ***




5 Cocktails to look out for at #CITCEdin

I was lucky enough to head along to the preview of Cocktails in the City which is taking place at the beautiful Mansfield Traquair on the 12-13 October. Tickets are £12 and include a cocktail on arrival. Worth every penny if you ask me! (read last year’s drunken adventure)

The preview was taking place at The Voodoo Rooms – I was very excited as I  LOVE their chicken satay, and guess what, it was one of the canopies being served – happy days all round. On arrival we were handed glasses of Molvino Prosecco – very fresh, locally produced and bubbly of course. This went down a treat.

The idea of the night was to speed date with a cocktail and cocktail master maker. There were 5 stations set up in the Speakeasy room and you had 7 minutes to taste and learn about the bars specially created cocktail.

My notes got less and less as I consumed more alcohol…Ooops.

Anyway, let me introduce you to 5 cocktails that will be on offer…

The Voodoo Rooms & Drambuie – Honey I Shrunk the Bees

citc voodoo

This cocktail is sweet and tastes of honeycomb, like an adult Crunchie. I like anything sweet so it was a hit with me. Although Honey I Shrunk the Bees certainly has a kick… After one small sip I already felt tipsy!

Bar Soba & Bacardi – The Butterfly Effect

citc bar soba

The Butterfly Effect is influenced by Asia. This is a fruity concoction topped with coconut shavings and dark chocolate. This cocktail was smooth and sophisticated. I certainly felt like a proper grown up drinking this one.

Chez Mal at Malmaison & Leith Gin – Blue Steel

citc malmasion

Blue Steel is sweet, colourful and has attitude – 46% Leith attitude (gin) to be correct. Along with gin there is a secret blue dye added, where the name of the cocktail came from.  Probably one of my favourites from last night… but I am a gin drinker!

Juniper & Fair Gin – Fair Play

citc juniper

Oh lucky me. Another gin cocktail. Fair Play is named after the gin being Fairtrade, so you feel like you are doing good drinking this one. It is served along side a handful of goats cheese popcorn which surprisingly works really well. The cocktail itself is also pink which is an added bonus!

*Tip* – on the night they are also serving a gluten free cocktail.

G&V & Marker’s Mark – Red Wax Tribute

citc g&V

Red Wax Tribute is a bourbon cocktail served over ice. I am not so much of a bourbon drinker myself but I can say it smelt amazing. You certainly get hints of Christmas peaking through from the infused spices and a right hit of alcohol on the first sip. This is not a beginner’s drink!

And there you have it, 5 cocktails to consider at Cocktails in the City.

PS. You will be glad to know I ended up at home with a pizza to soak up all the alcohol. Roll on the 12 October!