Christmas is the meant to be the most magical time of the year, yet when you are toilet bound for hours at a time the magic slowly disappears. You can introduce Christmas toilet paper for a bit of festive cheer in the bathroom… and it is a lot softer on the bum than tinsel.
So, Christmas can and most likely is a stressful time for all us Spoonies out there. Are you reading this friends and family? I am not meaning to be a crabbit scrooge it is just my inflamed body can’t keep up with your festive cheer – please don’t hate me!
To get through the season of over indulging, partying and germs spreading like wild fire – I have composed a few tips to help me get through.
- Plan everything! – If it is your work night out to Christmas day itself. If you are out for food, many restaurants like you to pre order in advance from the Christmas menu so that removes some pressure. Have plenty rest days and don’t feel guilty. A rest day for us Spoonies comes prescribed from the doctor (and a perfect excuse to binge watch Christmas movies)
- Be honest – “Sorry, I won’t be eating vegetables because you will then have to redecorate your bathroom”
- Stock up on essentials – Tissues, hand sanitizer, toilet roll, caffeine drinks, medication, energy tablets (!!!) Run away from any one that coughs (ha)
- Try not to over indulge (coming from me, who has ate nothing but Greggs chicken bakes for the last week) – Eat only 5 pigs in blankets instead of 6, share a bottle of Baileys instead of drinking the whole lot yourself (lactose is not my friend) and don’t put any brussel sprouts on your plate, because why would you anyway, yuck!
- Enjoy any time you don’t have a stabbing pain in your side, a colon on fire, another UTI, 82 ulcers in your mouth or a sore bum.
- And if all else fails, smile, it is what we do best of course!
Merry Christmas to everyone reading this and hopefully 2017 can find a cure so I can spend less time on the toilet and enjoy your company instead! (although I have got use to the potato life)