* Fatigue isn’t just tiredness which will be cured by a lie in *
Today has been a bad day. I have caved to the fatigue and pain and now I am lying like a potato on the bed (not in the bed as that is too much effort), slowly working my way through a pizza, which I used the last of my energy to cook. My plan is not to move until my 8am alarm tomorrow – thank goodness for flexi and my very understanding work!
Now, if you were to tell me 5 years ago there was a medical condition for being tired, I would of laughed in your face, tell you to have an early night and stop moaning BUT here I am 5 years older, and a lot more tired, addicted to coffee, immune to Lucozade and cry at the drop of a hat.
I picture my levels of hunger, tiredness and urgency for the toilet like the bar at the bottom of the screen when playing The Sims, you know what one I am talking about? It alerts you when you should feed your little Sim or send them to the toilet. However, my life is real. My fatigue is real. My crabbitness is very real – not even a pretty Snapchat filter can hide it!
Today my levels have been zero – even with endless cups of coffee. My symptoms include dizziness, a splitting headache and joint pain. I have been having hot flushes one minute then shivering like a leaf the next. Everything has been such an effort which ended up me walking home from work in tears, cringe! Then more tears in Sainsbury’s over pizza, more cringe! and finally bumping into everyone I know looking a bit frazzled, while sporting a make up free puffy face with a basket filled to the brim with junk food (Doritos are £1!!!). Ah life!
It has certainly taught me a lesson though. I always say I am proud of myself that I power through no matter what. I mean, I made it to work with a fistula. If you don’t know what that involves – click here. It’s not pleasant. Yet lack of pizza in my local supermarket sends me into a blubbering mess and that is ok. It is ok to take it easy, It doesn’t make me a failure!
Tomorrow is a new day. Hopefully with less tears, more coffee and I make it to work – Wish me luck.
Signing off now to take some painkillers and catch some zzzzz