Confessions of a Crohnie – Part 1

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  • The pain never goes away. I can mask the pain with very strong painkillers but it always returns.
  • Taking above painkillers on an empty stomach (not doc advised) will make you loopy and think minions are attacking.
  • I cry in the shower a lot – In factย I cry everywhere a lot!
  • I can be constipated one minute and diarrhoea the next. Every toilet visit is a surprise.
  • Sometimes it hurts to sit down after wiping too much. So much so, I might invest inย a rubber ring.

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  • There is an art of getting ready while perched on the loo. I have mastered this – finish my coffee (see pic below)*, teeth brushed, make up applied and dressed.
  • My stomach makes noises that don’t even sound human. They are often mistaken with the engine of a double decker bus outside my work. Lucky colleagues!
  • I often get caught up in the routine of pooing, showering, pooing, showering…
  • Granny pants are not attractive but I own 16 pairs of the floral kind.
  • Accidents do happen. I can laugh about it!

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  • I sit on the toilet for at least 15 minutes, every morning, before I leave for work.
  • I can’t remember what it is like to not have UTI symptoms or to be fully awake.
  • Always take the doc up on the offer of sedatives for a colonoscopy.
  • The prep to get a camera up your bum is much, MUCH, much worse than the procedure itself.
  • Having a fear of needles is not ideal when taking azathioprine.

And last but not least…

  • I can tell you which toilets have the nicest hand soap! (at the moment Tesco is winning)

Coffee shower

^ it is sadly a joke box, but it would make my life 100% if the product did actually exist!

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22 thoughts on “Confessions of a Crohnie – Part 1

      1. Clair crabbit never, was always the happiest UPS customer on my route and just so happened my favourite too, never witnessed this crabby days โ˜บ Ha mabay just the occasional caramel shortcake helped miss it!!
        Very well written and hope it raises the awareness it deserves my wee pal x ๐Ÿ‘

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Doesn’t sound pleasant one bit. In fact I saw what it can do to you and your spirit as a colleague of mine had the same thing. Hopefully your condition gets better.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Such a refreshing take on a serious condition. It’s great that you can bring humour to your posts which gives us an insight into your daily routine. Sounds like you are a strong person and you are not letting it beat you x My mummy is on strong painkillers at the moment and has chronic pain due to a collapsed lung and nerve damage so can relate a tiny bit to this post. She cries and gets frustrated a lot too. She was constipated due to the codine and spent 45mins in a public loo the other day with people banging on the door ๐Ÿ˜ฆ pooping under pressure doesn’t work!!

    Like

  3. I found this really interesting to read as I’ve heard about it but didn’t know the full effects of it. I’m glad you can laugh about accidents and things. It sounds so difficult but you sound like you are doing a fab job x

    Liked by 1 person

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