Diary of a UTI (drama) Queen – Part 1

5:04am: Eyes ping open… oh no no no no! Run to the bathroom, trying not to wake snoring beauty (Russell) in the other half of the bed.


5:07am: Wipe, stand up, wash hands, oh I need to pee AGAIN. Repeat cycle until I feel brave enough to get up and go grab my phone.

5:25am: Back on the loo, scrolling Facebook. The extractor fan is pretty noisy. Hope it wakes Russ up so he can suffer with me and get me a few glasses of water.

5:30am: Googled symptoms. I am apparently dying.

5:40am: Right, One last go at getting up.

5:45am: In the kitchen drinking pints of water – Flush them kidneys out.

5:59am: Toilet then bed. Repeat previous cycle for 15 minutes. Surely this counts as squats? I will look good in a bikini after all…. ha!

6:15am: Jump into bed with an aloud enough sigh to stir Russell. Tell him I am dying and I need attention.

6:16am: Russell pats my head and rolls over.

6:30am: I need to pee AGAIN.

6:31am: Think about what I would do if I won the lottery to take my mind of the radiating pain from my pee hole.

6:45am: Drift off to sleep.

7:00am: Alarm goes off – Why, its a Saturday?! NEED TO PEE. No time for snooze button.

7:02am: Is that it? A little dribble? OH COME ON.

7:05am: Well… I guess this is how I will be spending my day!



Highland Games// Pitlochry

One of the funniest times I pretended to be a tourist was on a granny bus tour to Loch Ness, we somehow ended up back in my home town for the first stop of the day. Anyway, it was a fun day out even if I was slightly hungover and wearing a woolly jumper in the height of the Scottish summer.

So, every now and again Russell and I pretend to be 80, pack the car full of snacks, charge the camera and head off somewhere. This adventure took us to Pitlochry for the Highland games.

Pit 3

The sun was shining and people (both local and proper tourists) were out in force in Pitlochry. There was a LOT of tartan and kilts!

Parking was a bit of a challenge but eventually stumbled across a space in close proximity to the field in which the games where taking place.

Pit 5

It was £8 for an adult and £4 for a child to enter which was a bit more pricy than the last Highland games we attended in Loch Lomond – yes, we have gone to more than 1 this year! The difference with this adventure was it never poured down.

We wondered round a few of the stalls. I had a go at whack the haggis, which was easier said than done. Russell wasn’t successful either. We both had a go at the tombola too as I spied a few bottles of my favourite alcohol – you’ve got to be in it to win it right? –  Anyway, instead we came away with hand soap and a can of cola. Go us!

Pit 4

There was plenty to watch: Tug of war, highland dancing, caber toss, weight over the bar and that very Scottish sport of… running.

Drink wise there was lots  – bins were overflowing with empty cider cans which really made me want one (they are on my no no list). For food you had the choice of burgers or chips really. They did smell good but we resisted. Also, if you wanted to be healthy you could get fresh strawberries and cream.

It was a good day out and perfect for families. Russell watched the games and I watched more of the dogs wondering about as I was at a slight height disadvantage. If you love dogs, the Highland Games is for you.

Pit 6

I think next year we will be going again but certainly be incorporating the drinking side of things more… Who knows, Russell might even wear his kilt and take part in a few games.

Pit 2

Oh, my other highlights were I bought a cactus and persuaded Russell to drive through Bridge of Allan so we could go to the Jam Jar for tea. Successful day – I think so!




Little Ball of Anger and Fury

I am talking about my mood swings, not bowel movements as the title may suggest. This rage filled post is all thanks to my period. Being a woman is just wonderful, isn’t it? Queue sarcastic eye roll…

Now I am an open book so lets discuss periods and dealing with Crohn’s. They both aren’t easy and together they do NOT mix well.

My poo pattern changes, spots come out in force and lets chuck a UTI in for good measure, because my body really hates me! The biggest thing I notice when my period comes though – mood swings.

Clair 1

This week  I have been on hormonal meltdown. I have been storming about the flat like a heavy footed Hagrid, shouting my head off about the littlest thing – All while wearing my over worn house coat and unwashed frizzy hair. Yer a wizard Russell and I NEED you to order a Chinese pronto to make me feel better… But not really as I am a bloated elephant who should only be thinking about lettuce leaves, not chow mien.



My gosh – One minute I am laughing, next I am evil eyeing anyone who has the AUDACITY to ask me (usually nicely) to do something. NO.

The only time I have been super happy, was when I met my favourite author Linsey Kelk on Wednesday. My mood slowly deteriorated once I missed my train, realised the actual price of an M&S pizza (usually bought when drunk) and bought chilli crisps instead of cheese and onion – again M&S, chilli flavour go in red packets. Let me tell you, I gripped onto that pizza like I was taking the baby Jesus home to eat as I was not letting anything happen to my expensive piece of happiness – Which I did share with Russell. He deserved it after all…

Clair 3

Luckily, for everyone that as the pleasure of dealing with me on a daily basis. My mood is returning to normal. My head is heading back into the clouds and I realised I can take two loopy painkillers at once instead of two. Adios period, cya in 4 weeks.

Now Russell, where are we on getting a Chinese tonight (my treat)?

Yo Sushi Experience!

Little old me was adventurous today and decided to go with a work colleague to try some sushi at Yo Sushi on Princes Street. It only resulted in me spitting one bit of fish discreetly into a napkin – I think that classes as a success.

Throughout September they are running ‘ The Big £2.80 Bonanza’ on 44 of their dishes. Plates usually range from £2.20 to £6.00 so it is a bargain in my eye and no big loss if I had to go get a Greggs for my lunch after.


I said to my colleague I would try one fish plate, his pick, but the rest I would choose. He placed a California Roll in front of me. As soon as I removed the lid I got a waft of seaweed. That was an instant no. However, I managed to take one bite which I struggled to swallow. No amount of water was saving this, so I did the classy thing and spat it into a napkin. Yuck.

My other 3 plates where Prawn Katsu, Chicken Gyoza and Tamango Nigiri (Japanese omelette). These went down no problem – once I had removed all evidence of any smelly seaweed.


As the plates pass by on a revolving belt you can take them off yourself. If nothing takes your fancy you can press a button to order with the waitress from the menu. You can do this as many times as you like. I made use of this by hastily ordering a malted chocolate pot. It has been the best decision I have made ALL day. Although tiny, it is a must order from now on. I think it would really be the only reason I would venture back to Yo Sushi (sorry Sushi lovers). It is served with half a strawberry which I kindly gave to my colleague.

Between the two of us, we managed to eat our way through £27 worth of tiny plates. Me eating ones that had been deep fried and contained limited veg, my sushi loving colleague eating the spiciest, most fishest ones.


It was definitely an experience, and not one I would rush to do again… unless chocolate pots were involved!

Got suggestions for my next adventure? Let me know!



Cry Baby…

I had this post to be scheduled for AM today but after my meltdown yesterday I have had to change the content… as all I did was cry last night and this post said I had made it through this round of flaring with only one shed of tears. What a lie that would of been!

I am a well known crier – I always feel better after a good sob. I cry about anything really: happy moments, sad times, angry, hangry, ill.

I cried when Sainsbury’s moved the pizza to a different aisle, I cried when Greggs had no chicken bakes, when I fell on Princess St, I balled my eyes out during Jane the Virgin, I tear up at way too many Facebook videos. I am crier and I can’t stop.

I am good at holding all the tears in, well apart from my face getting red and unable to hold a conversation as my voice comes out in squeaks! So after a lovely meal last night the pain just erupted. I kept my cool then into the car and BOOM floodgates opened. Luckily it was only a 5 minute drive home as we would of needed arm bands to stay a float with the rate the tears where coming out – drama queen or what!

Anyway, today is a new day. I am wearing trousers unbuttoned, my hair in a messy/greasy bun which surprisingly has had compliments (!!!!) and I have a tin of beans and sausages for my lunch. This is my Tinky McGee look and I am fully embracing it… Hopefully without bursting into tears when somebody final plucks up the courage to tell me my trousers are falling down!

It is ok to cry so let those tears flow if you need to! Also, bless Russell for not commenting on my ugly crying face. Do you have an ugly cry face too?

Donald 1



The Festival Village

Last week I went to my very first bloggers event. Check me out, I am actually classed as a blogger. Anyway, the meet up was taking place at the Festival Village on top of Waverley Mall which I walk by every day on my way to work. The area always seems to be bustling with people enjoying a drink, food and live music so I was glad to get this opportunity to try out what was on offer.


We met at Fizz and Pearl which serves seafood and champagne… Yes, I was wining and dining on Moet and Oysters. Well not quite, as fish gives me the fear but the bubbles certainly went down a treat.

The atmosphere at Fizz and Pearl is very laidback. There are heaters dotted about to keep warm, comfy couches and a basket of fleece blankets you can help yourself to – perfect for cosying up. The menus, especially the alcohol one, have a wide range on offer. I went for a peachy gin cocktail and it tasted of summer – at £9 for one though I could only afford a few ha!


There was talk of halloumi fries in the group so I went on a mission to try and find some. They were being served up by The Pitt Market along with steak and fries. This was probably the toughest decision of the night. Instead of picking, I settled on both. For photography purposes of course… wink wink.

This area of the Festival Village seemed to be more lively with pop up beer tents and live music from Malones. I tried to pose for candid blogger photos with the scenic views but failed miserably!

Now, this wouldn’t be a Crohn’s in the City post if the toilet situation never got a mention. The toilets are Portaloos but clean Portaloos with plenty loo roll and hand towels.


After a toilet trip and a belly full of halloumi, Megan and I ventured over to Malones. You get hit with the Irish bar charm as soon as you step in. I spied Tatyo crisps on a shelf so will be returning to stock up. We both got a spirit and mixer each and buried our way into the crowds to find a seat. The singer was good belting out classics you could easily sing along to. As I was people watching my gaze landed on Pizza Geeks. I know, I bet you are thinking “how could you be hungry?” but for pizza I couldn’t refuse. I wondered over and ordered a cheese pizza. Again, for photo purposes only I told myself. It was made right in front of me in minutes from stretching the dough to baking in a fire pitt. For £6 the pizza was a decent size but could of done with a wee bit more cheese. I would eat another one, possibly the ‘Braveheart’.

It was getting dark but the atmosphere was still buzzing. The fireworks from the Tattoo started to go off so I took that as a sign to head home. Top tip – you get a really food few from the Butcher Boy stand which sadly I never got to try. At least it gives me a reason to return.

After all that food and drink I nearly had to be rolled home. Thanks Festival Village for letting me come along and to the Edinburgh Bloggers for answering my many questions!




Edinburgh Fringe Highlights// Week 2

This post is all about the amazing Harriet Kemsley – she is my only highlight of week 2, ha!

Harriet is thee Harriet from Harriet and Bobby Get Married (and Bobby’s wife who I seen last week). I slightly fangirled when I seen her at The Caves on Saturday.

This show started slightly different to all other ones I had been to so far. Harriet welcomed everyone into the room and chatted to them – very nice touch! The room was roasting hot but we had been prewarned so came armed with a refreshing vodka.

The show is called ‘Bad at Doing’ but as Harriet pointed out it read ‘Bad at Doing’ like the sound Big Ben makes… or no longer makes. Anyway she spoke about her struggles dealing with her newly diagnosed dyspraxia and how she is really bad at doing stuff – like coming up with a title for her show and printing out her diagnosis report wrong!

Harriet had me in stitches and I think it was because I could relate to the show. I have disability, I google a lot, read forums and have no idea what I am actually doing most of the time. Harriet appears the same but she handles herself much better than I ever could. She is also quite the line dancer…

Her quirkiness really shines through and you really can’t help but laugh along with her.

Russell had me leaving the show questioning if I was just really clumsy or should be getting tested for dyspraxia while Harriet had me leaving in a comedy bubble!

I would recommend you get your bum down to the Spare Room at the Caves, 9pm every night to see this gem of a show.