2018 – The year I realise the world doesn’t revolve around me!

*GASP* I know it is shocking really that it has taking me to 24 years old to realise that actually the world isn’t revolving around me. Is it because I am an only child? Who knows…  I am just used to getting my own way most of the time. I am not the best at compromising and I can be ever so slightly selfish as it is usually my way or the highway but now, oh how the tables have turned for the next few months or so (then I can return to my normal needy self – sorry Russ)!

If you follow me on Instagram or Twitter (sorry, little plug there) you will know my more emotionally stronger other half found himself in an accident which was pretty serious. Ambulances, surgery, stitches etc…. Real life episode of Casualty.

This is when for the first time EVER my adulting (is that a word?) instincts kicked in and I wasn’t top of my list. Russell was… oh I am soppy.

Funnily enough, more than one person has questioned how I will cope… and so far so good, I think. What I lack in normal household jobs I make up for with hospital knowledge and teaching Russell the Spoonie way of life BUT I haven’t gave Russell food poisoning, the washing is still getting done and I am reading more than ever due to the Rugby matches that are taking over the telly – it is only fair as I usually subject Russell to hours of RuPaul when I’m not feeling too good.

Russell has been so brave, it puts me to shame. He has held himself together like an absolute trooper, both emotionally and physically. I have been crying tears for him, sparked by a lasagne not warming up fast enough. Drama queen eh!

Anyway, this is just a little post to get me back into the swing of things as I have been majorly neglecting my blogging life which I am starting to miss. I just am using my energy, or lack off, to keep Russell smiling – and luckily for him, it is birthday this week. Five Guys here we come (I know how to treat him ha!)

Russell, We will be high fiving before you know it. Love you lots x

 

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Should you be doing that?

I get asked variations of that question a lot. Can you do that? Are you allowed to do that? What would your doctor say? Will that not make you worse? Is that the best idea? …

… and my least favourite statement EVER “You are burning the candle from both ends” –  I don’t know why but it makes my skin crawl and I will throw a major eye roll in your direction.

As a 24 year old, my favourite things are socialising with coffee, cocktails, gin, food, dancing. Everything in that list I probably shouldn’t do but I do. Quite often in fact (which you will see from my previous posts.)

For someone with a few chronic illnesses I am very much about living in the moment. If I feel up to it I will do it. Some days I don’t, which is fine by me. I spend those days in my jammies, on the loo, crying. As I haven’t been blogging about those dark days recently it doesn’t mean I haven’t been having them.

Russell sees me at my worst nearly every day. From 7:30am onwards I have an endless battle on how I am going to tackle the day. I can either give into my symptoms or give myself a pep talk and leave the flat. Again, you don’t see that. You don’t see me weighing up every thing that could go wrong, will food be served, what would I eat, are toilets on route, are they going to be clean, is my stomach going to start making uncontrollable noises, will I last the whole day, would what this person think if I started crying, can I lie down anywhere…. the list goes on!

^ that is just about my commute to work.

So, when I go out out (like proper out) I like to make the most of it. I will drink an extra cocktail, indulge on extra cheesy macaroni and of course have extra vanilla in my latte because it has taken a lot of energy to get here. I deserve it!

So the point of this post is really to say NO I shouldn’t be doing that – but I’m not going to let me Crohn’s stop me… unless it is completely necessary. Now, where is my Friday cocktail?

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Diary of a UTI (drama) Queen – Part 1

5:04am: Eyes ping open… oh no no no no! Run to the bathroom, trying not to wake snoring beauty (Russell) in the other half of the bed.

5:06am: HOLY SWEAR WORD. IT IS LIKE PEEING SHARDS OF GLASS… THAT ARE ON FIRE.

5:07am: Wipe, stand up, wash hands, oh I need to pee AGAIN. Repeat cycle until I feel brave enough to get up and go grab my phone.

5:25am: Back on the loo, scrolling Facebook. The extractor fan is pretty noisy. Hope it wakes Russ up so he can suffer with me and get me a few glasses of water.

5:30am: Googled symptoms. I am apparently dying.

5:40am: Right, One last go at getting up.

5:45am: In the kitchen drinking pints of water – Flush them kidneys out.

5:59am: Toilet then bed. Repeat previous cycle for 15 minutes. Surely this counts as squats? I will look good in a bikini after all…. ha!

6:15am: Jump into bed with an aloud enough sigh to stir Russell. Tell him I am dying and I need attention.

6:16am: Russell pats my head and rolls over.

6:30am: I need to pee AGAIN.

6:31am: Think about what I would do if I won the lottery to take my mind of the radiating pain from my pee hole.

6:45am: Drift off to sleep.

7:00am: Alarm goes off – Why, its a Saturday?! NEED TO PEE. No time for snooze button.

7:02am: Is that it? A little dribble? OH COME ON.

7:05am: Well… I guess this is how I will be spending my day!

 

Little Ball of Anger and Fury

I am talking about my mood swings, not bowel movements as the title may suggest. This rage filled post is all thanks to my period. Being a woman is just wonderful, isn’t it? Queue sarcastic eye roll…

Now I am an open book so lets discuss periods and dealing with Crohn’s. They both aren’t easy and together they do NOT mix well.

My poo pattern changes, spots come out in force and lets chuck a UTI in for good measure, because my body really hates me! The biggest thing I notice when my period comes though – mood swings.

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This week  I have been on hormonal meltdown. I have been storming about the flat like a heavy footed Hagrid, shouting my head off about the littlest thing – All while wearing my over worn house coat and unwashed frizzy hair. Yer a wizard Russell and I NEED you to order a Chinese pronto to make me feel better… But not really as I am a bloated elephant who should only be thinking about lettuce leaves, not chow mien.

And

Breathe.

My gosh – One minute I am laughing, next I am evil eyeing anyone who has the AUDACITY to ask me (usually nicely) to do something. NO.

The only time I have been super happy, was when I met my favourite author Linsey Kelk on Wednesday. My mood slowly deteriorated once I missed my train, realised the actual price of an M&S pizza (usually bought when drunk) and bought chilli crisps instead of cheese and onion – again M&S, chilli flavour go in red packets. Let me tell you, I gripped onto that pizza like I was taking the baby Jesus home to eat as I was not letting anything happen to my expensive piece of happiness – Which I did share with Russell. He deserved it after all…

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Luckily, for everyone that as the pleasure of dealing with me on a daily basis. My mood is returning to normal. My head is heading back into the clouds and I realised I can take two loopy painkillers at once instead of two. Adios period, cya in 4 weeks.

Now Russell, where are we on getting a Chinese tonight (my treat)?

Cry Baby…

I had this post to be scheduled for AM today but after my meltdown yesterday I have had to change the content… as all I did was cry last night and this post said I had made it through this round of flaring with only one shed of tears. What a lie that would of been!

I am a well known crier – I always feel better after a good sob. I cry about anything really: happy moments, sad times, angry, hangry, ill.

I cried when Sainsbury’s moved the pizza to a different aisle, I cried when Greggs had no chicken bakes, when I fell on Princess St, I balled my eyes out during Jane the Virgin, I tear up at way too many Facebook videos. I am crier and I can’t stop.

I am good at holding all the tears in, well apart from my face getting red and unable to hold a conversation as my voice comes out in squeaks! So after a lovely meal last night the pain just erupted. I kept my cool then into the car and BOOM floodgates opened. Luckily it was only a 5 minute drive home as we would of needed arm bands to stay a float with the rate the tears where coming out – drama queen or what!

Anyway, today is a new day. I am wearing trousers unbuttoned, my hair in a messy/greasy bun which surprisingly has had compliments (!!!!) and I have a tin of beans and sausages for my lunch. This is my Tinky McGee look and I am fully embracing it… Hopefully without bursting into tears when somebody final plucks up the courage to tell me my trousers are falling down!

It is ok to cry so let those tears flow if you need to! Also, bless Russell for not commenting on my ugly crying face. Do you have an ugly cry face too?

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Embracing the embarrassment…

This post might put you of Oreos for the rest of your life so here is a poo warning. You read on at your own risk…

Today I thought I would share 3 embarrassing moments involving poo and me, as I usually have some poo related incident a week. These moments will now be on the internet FOREVER.

  1. I have mentioned this before but it is too funny not to mention again – my poo sample exploding over the reception desk at my doctors. NEVER fill the sample jar up. They only need a SMALL amount. Lesson was well and truly learnt!KRAFT FOODS - Oreo
  2. Eating a packet of Oreos the day before a poo sample was due was a mistake. My poo came out black in an Oreo crust. I certainly got asked a few extra questions when handing it over. Hilda* (receptionist) and I now have a weird relationship that began over my explosive/black poo.KRAFT FOODS - Oreo
  3. Before I was diagnosed I went on a long weekend up North. The place we were staying at had a Sauna in the bathroom. Of course, my dodgy bowels played up and I had to go. It was bad… the smelliest poo, even to this day to leave me. I was so embarrassed I blamed it on the ‘mouldy’ sauna – I don’t think anyone used it again on the trip!

KRAFT FOODS - Oreo

Sometimes I ask myself why do I share my life so much, but if it gives one person struggling with IBD out there a laugh it’s worth it! I am sure we have all had an uh oh moment involving poo. I certainly have a list as long as my arm with many more coming my way.

I also have embarrassing moments involving being clumsy, drunk, old photos and not thinking before I speak.

Anyway, my point in this post is embrace your embarrassing moments – they make you great!

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Woe is me

Well haven’t my last few posts been a bit depressing eh!

I promise I am a happy wee ginger most of the time. The posts are just to give you a insight into my not so glamourous life where I spend about 95% of my time in jammies.

If I am not crying/in noticeable pain I mostly looking like the pics below. Smiling, probably drinking a gin or being sociable with coffee and cake. I push myself A LOT to not cave to the hermit life which is why I think people have been shocked by my recent posts.

Although saying that, the soppy posts have opened the flood gates for cake offerings (thanks Uncle Ian!) so I might just have to keep it real with you as long as Nutella is involved. Ha!

Now in the words of Mcfly – 

Oh, you just gotta be happy
But sometimes that’s hard
So just remember to smile, smile, smile
And that’s a good enough start

 

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smile 3
Happy St Paddy’s Day!
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Coffee, coffee, coffee – getting me through the day.
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Rhubarb gin and prosecco is the perfect combo. Trust me!

 

 

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The smallest gin cocktail but the priciest on the menu.